Flipping out
May. 31st, 2024 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
offcntrWe actually own two houses, the one in Oregon where we live, and Denise's family home in Wisconsin, which she inherited when her mom died. My brother and his wife live there, pay a nominal rent for tax purposes, and maintain the place so we don't have to deal with it.
But this means it's a rare week when we don't get at least one or two contacts from speculative realtors and house flippers. Most of them masquerade as personal letters or greeting cards, with faux-handwriting font and messages like:
Hi, I'm Jimmy from WeBuyHouses.wtf! I'm interested in purchasing your property at [redacted]. I'm willing to make a cash offer, and will buy the house as is; you won't need to make any repairs. If you are interested, please contact me at WeBuyHouses.wtf or call phone number (not toll-free). I look forward to hearing from you!
And then there are these guys. The "here's a check, don't you want it?" type.
This one is really leaning into looking official, almost governmental. The IRS-style font on 2024, with check boxes: Compliance, Legal, Documentation, Other. Plus the "Documentation" box on the right, with weight, value, tariff statement, and a very scary warning from the US Postal code about penalties for stealing or misdelivering mail. Which apply to any mail, from bulk flyers to Aunt Emily's Christmas card. They want you to think, Am I expecting a check from the government?
Inside, of course, is the same pitch as all the others, perhaps worded a bit more formally. Eh, they both go straight into the recycling, torn into as many pieces as my level of annoyance that day dictates.
But this means it's a rare week when we don't get at least one or two contacts from speculative realtors and house flippers. Most of them masquerade as personal letters or greeting cards, with faux-handwriting font and messages like:
Hi, I'm Jimmy from WeBuyHouses.wtf! I'm interested in purchasing your property at [redacted]. I'm willing to make a cash offer, and will buy the house as is; you won't need to make any repairs. If you are interested, please contact me at WeBuyHouses.wtf or call phone number (not toll-free). I look forward to hearing from you!
And then there are these guys. The "here's a check, don't you want it?" type.
This one is really leaning into looking official, almost governmental. The IRS-style font on 2024, with check boxes: Compliance, Legal, Documentation, Other. Plus the "Documentation" box on the right, with weight, value, tariff statement, and a very scary warning from the US Postal code about penalties for stealing or misdelivering mail. Which apply to any mail, from bulk flyers to Aunt Emily's Christmas card. They want you to think, Am I expecting a check from the government?
Inside, of course, is the same pitch as all the others, perhaps worded a bit more formally. Eh, they both go straight into the recycling, torn into as many pieces as my level of annoyance that day dictates.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-01 01:36 am (UTC)